What to do with a man who has commitment phobia

There are some men that makes women feel very lovable and desirable. They lavish love and gifts on them and make them feel very special. But when it comes to marriage, they back out. They have a great fear of being tied to one woman for life. They run away from the very idea of marriage. Their relationship never ending story, instead they are filled with heartbreaks.

These men suffer from commitment phobia, a fear of committing themselves to a single woman. But they will not hesitate to play the loving game. They go out of their way to make their women feel special. They woo them with all the passion that they can command. But they cool off when the woman talking about marriage.

How to spot a commitment phoben

For every woman it is important to spot commitment phoben - it is men who suffer from commitment phobia - early in the relationship. This is the only way they can keep their feet firmly planted on the ground and not be swept away by the charm offensive launched by such men.

Fortunately commitment phoben is very predictable and display several common features. These are:

1. They have been involved in several relationships in the past, but all of them have been short. Why would the charming tell you is that they have not yet encountered a woman of their dreams, a person with whom they can have a lifelong relationship. You are the woman, they will tell you. It is for you to spot the lie or swallow the hook entirely.

2. They would show much more interest in you that you do in them They will follow you, implore you, please you, woo you - try every trick in the trade to win you over.

They will even drop hints of long and stable relationships, they will talk about "we" and "us" and not "I" and "me".

3. They will make you feel very special. They will shower you with love and affection. They will make you feel their world will come to an end if you spurn them or misunderstand them. You will find it impossible to resist them unless you know what happens.

This will, however eager suitor be limited to the first phase of the relationship. The relationship will take a second trip at the moment you surrender It's not that these men treat women as trophies to be won, and then displayed in their personal museums, but they are driven by conflicting emotions. They do not want to abandon a woman or do not want to commit to her. It is a mental disorder. But it can have serious consequences both to the relationship, and you.

You will not realize what has happened to your relationship. The same man who could not live without you for a moment, will start looking for excuses to stay away from you. You will no longer be the shining light of their lives. They talk about marriage will freeze them. Your tears can make them unhappy, but it will not move them. It would not be long before you are left only with memories and tears, commitment phoben would have moved forward with another woman.

Why do they behave like this

You do not search for causes of Souring relations. You should not blame yourself for what happened. You must realize that commitment phobia is an emotional disorder, and you have been a victim of a person suffering from such disorder.

According to psychologists, the commitment phoben behave like this because they suffer from certain beliefs about relationships. This can happen because:

1. As a sensitive child, was a commitment phoben world ravaged by a bitter divorce between his parents. He grew up with a feeling that there can be no permanent relationship between a man and a woman. Such a relationship can only cause pain in the long run.

2. Some engagement phoben can not reconcile to the death of their father or mother or forget the sorrow and grief that overcame their parents when one of them died. They can grow up with a feeling not to enter into lasting relationships - relationships that can cause pain due to the death of a loved one.

3. Some engagement phoben may have been betrayed by those they loved. This would have created a mindset of never giving in to a woman again.

How to deal with a commitment phoben

You must realize that you have very few chances to win a commitment phoben. Therefore, you must play hard to get. You must refuse to get in bed with him very often, this marks the end of a relationship. Let him feel desperate, let him step up its courtship. But you must not give up

It is important that you continue to live your own life. You should not allow a commitment phoben to accelerate the pace of your life. You should continue dating other men and serve as an independent woman who can live his life on his own. Never make the mistake of playing second fiddle to these men, or switching to what-a-woman-would-do mode.

You must not drum excuses for his behavior or try to convince yourself that he is right and you are wrong. In your mind, you should not be his lawyer. You must look at his actions not his words. Words are easy, they can be lavished with freedom. But it is hard to match them with action.

If possible, you should convince him to see a psychologist. There is always a chance that a psychologist may be able to remove the fear that a commitment phoben has about marital relationships. But it can not happen in an instant. You have to be patient, A and you have to see how the commitment phoben take your suggestions or advice.

Finally, do not grieve if your relationship breaks down. Take it in your stride length. Treat it as a fun fling that was bound to end this way.