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19 March 2010

What to do with a woman who has commitment phobia

A woman with commitment phobia always feels insecure and vulnerable when it comes to marriage. She wants to postpone the decision, are often confused and not know how to get out of the relationship. Unlike men, women with commitment phobia do not go around hunting for men. They develop natural relationships, a relationship where they feel but they are not willing to maintain. In the process, they not only affect men, but also harming themselves.

They find it very difficult to get out of such relationships. There is a sense of guilt, sometimes even of remorse. But these feelings are overwhelmed by a strong sense of fear. There is a strong reluctance to approach the topic of marriage. At the same time there is also despair. They do not want to get the man who has brought such happiness in their lives. But they only give up their partners confused, bewildered and angry.

Why have women become commitment phoben

The psychologists see a clear relationship between commitment phobia and a traumatic childhood. Their studies show that women who suffer from commitment phobia are deeply influenced by their childhood that have burned their subconscious minds and birth such unrealistic fear.

According to psychologists, commitment phobia can be caused by one of the following three situations that a child may have undergone during her formative years:

1. Death of a parent: Children may not show grief, but they are very sensitive. A couple of them may find it very difficult to accept assignment of their father or mother, to whom they were deeply attached. Some of them can not bear to see the grief of their father or mother. This is when the mind decides that they should not allow themselves to get in similar situations. The logic is that there will be no sorrow, if there is no long-term relationship.

2. A messy divorce: There are many children who go into a shell when they see their parents bickering over small things, and finally breaking up. There are some girls who can not reconcile themselves with their Stepfather or stepmother and can not forgive their parents about what they have done for their lives. Marriage with these girls seems to be a relationship where they can only expect bitterness and hurt. That is why they are so eager to avoid the "imagined" pains of marriage.

3. Abusive relationship: Some girls are never able to get over the abuse caused by their parents, particularly their fathers. They are therefore unwilling to surrender to men again, but want to prize their independence much more. They are mortally afraid to risk an unhappy wedding or other abusive relationships.

A fourth reason for women avoiding long-term relationships is purely professional. They can enter into a relationship at a time when their careers are ready to go. They are so attached to their careers that they are not willing to compromise with them. They instead choose to delay marriage to a future date, which in most cases never comes. But such successful women always attracts men who want to own them.

How to spot a commitment phoben

It is not easy to spot women who suffer from commitment phobia. They do not go around lavishing love and affection freely, or trying to seduce any man who catches their fancy. Indeed, they seem more vulnerable and insecure, triggering relationships where a man wants to protect them. That is how most of these relationships begin.

But men do not know what they are doing. They are involuntarily getting sucked into a relationship without a future. The best they can do is to probe why the woman for whom they feel so strongly have not found a partner. It should beat them wonder if the woman tells them that her relationship is always short. They can of course be blinded by love and faith that it would not happen to them. But then they will be making a big mistake.

A better solution would be to make the woman talking about herself and her early life, to understand why she had such unstable relationships. This may make the woman share her fears, however unrealistic they are. The man can throw a protective umbrella around her and give her security that she has always been missing. But there is no guarantee that women will be able to exorcise his fears. The relationship may still end on a note of discontent and bitterness with the woman pushing her partner away, but the partner refusing to let her go and suffer her fears alone.

Can counseling help?

A last resort is to convince phoben commitment to seek professional help. A trained psychologist may be able to wipe the fear away. A hypnotist may also be able to remove the fear of the past. But much depends on how much the woman is willing to open themselves, and how much emotional support the man is willing to bring the relationship.

There is always the possibility that the commitment phoben may be able to exorcise his fears. But it is also possible that this fear may come back to haunt her after marriage. So you can be sure that the marriage will be short-lived. It will not be able to withstand the hallucinations and unrealistic fears of a commitment phoben.

In the second situation where a woman places her career, first you must be ready to compromise. He should never question her priorities even if it hurts his male ego every day or every week. Again, this would not be a stable relationship, and will die sooner than later.

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