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06 April 2010

7 Power Skills that Build Strong Relationships

A strong, healthy relationship is one in which partners show respect and kindness toward each other. The relationship forms rewarding and lasting bonds of trust and support. Here are seven power skills that will help form stronger alliances and bring more closeness, authenticity, and trust in your relationships.

1. Relax optimistic

If you are comfortable around others, they will feel comfortable around you. If you appear nervous, others will sense and withdraw. If you are meeting someone for the first time that light up like you have rediscovered a long lost friend. A smile will always be the most powerful producer of the report. Communicating with relaxed optimism, energy and enthusiasm will provide a strong foundation for lasting relationships.

2. Listen deeply

Powerful listening goes beyond hearing words and messages, and it connects us emotionally with our communication partner. Listen to what the person says no, and to what he says. Focus intensely and listen to the messages conveyed behind and between words.

Listen also with your eyes and heart. Notice facial expressions and body positions, but look beneath the surface of visible behaviors. Feel the range of emotions conveyed by tone and rhythm of speech. Distinguish what the person wants you to hear and also what they want you to feel.

3. Feel Empathetically

Empathy is the foundation of good two-way communication. Being empathetic is seeing from another person's perspective regardless of your opinion or belief. Treat their mistakes, as you'd like them to treat your mistakes. Let each know that you are concerned with the error and that you still respect them as a person. Share their excitement in times of victory and encouragement during hard times. Genuine feelings of empathy will strengthen ties confidence.

4. Respond Carefully

Choose emotions and words wisely. Measure your emotions after the person's mood and needs. Words can build or destroy trust. They are different shades of intensity and impact. What did you learn when listening deeply to another person? Reflects your interpretation of the person's message back to them. Validate your understanding of their message.

Compliment the person on the wisdom and insight they have shared with you. It shows appreciation and encourages further dialogs with the individual. One answer may be to encourage or discourage. If you believe in advance the consequences of your emotions and words, create a positive impact on your relationship.

5. Synchronize cooperation

When people synchronize their watches, they insure that their individual actions will occur in time to produce a certain result. Conditions require ongoing cooperative action to survive and thrive.

As relationships mature, needs and values of the individual and the relationship change. Career relationships will require flexibility to meet changing schedules and new project goals. Cooperative actions provide Synchrony and build trusting alliances. They are part of give and take, which gives strong, lasting relationships.

6. Act authentic

Acting authentic means acting with integrity. It means living in harmony with your values. Be yourself when you are with one another. Drop acts that create false appearances and false security.

When you shop authentic, you're honest with yourself and others. You say what you will do and do what you say. Ask for what you want in all areas of your relationships. Be clear about what you will tolerate. Find out what your relationship partners want also. Being authentic creates mutual trust and respect.

7. Acknowledge generously

Look for and enhance the positive qualities in others. Humbly recognize the difference that people do to your life. Validate them by expressing your appreciation for their lives and their contributions. If you let someone know they are valuable and special, they will not forget you. Showing gratitude and encouragement by words and actions will strengthen ties no connection.

Do not forget to acknowledge your most important relationship: the relationship to yourself. Acknowledge your own qualities and put those qualities into action. You can not create a stronger relationship with others than you have with yourself. You will attract the qualities in others that are already within you.

Ask yourself: What thoughts and behaviors will attract the kind of relationship I want? What is one action I could take today that would give my current situation?

Write down all the qualities or behaviors that you want for your relationships. Select the power skills that will attract those qualities. Keep a record of the actions you take and the progress you make. By turning these skills into lifelong habits, you will build relationships that are healthy, strong and mutually rewarding.

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