Dealing with Someone who is a Compulsive Porn User

Though most people will admit it or not, have they looked at or viewed pornography at some point in their lives. The normal person can see it, read it or watch it from time to time and not really affecting their lives in a profound way. While this is true for most people, there are some people who have a compulsive need to look at pornography every day or frequently. This would not be a problem if they were not compulsive about it, often risking their jobs and their relationships in the workplace. Unfortunately, it is the people who are in a relationship with a compulsive porn use who suffer most.

If your husband is a compulsive porn use chances are they do not just come up to you and begin to tell you about it. Many people find out because their mate acts secretive or they are very private about their computer. This would not be bad if the person was alone, but when you are in a relationship, and you find out about compulsive porn use it feels like a betrayal, not only because they look at porn, but because they lied about it, or hid it from you.

The first thing you should know is that anyone viewing or using porn compulsively often do not know how much what they do affects you. They know rationally that they hide something for you and probably the rest of the world, but they can not think beyond their need to consider how it can affect you and how you feel about it.

The compulsive porn user does not watch porn because their partner is not the fulfillment of sexual or physical needs. Indeed, the chances that coercion has been around longer than you have been. Many people, especially women, tend to feel as if coercion is somehow their fault, a short coming that they have that have led their spouse to this compulsion. The fact is that it has little or nothing to do with the person in the porn user's life.

You must be open about it when you find out about their looks at the pornographic material. It is really hard to call someone out on this, especially if you are hurt and confused, but it must be done. You can just sit down and talk about it or even write them a letter but you must let them know how it makes you feel. If you are angry or hurt or sad, let them know this because they probably did not think about it all.

You might create a kind of plan for the future. Either your mate share their interests with you, tell you when they look at the material, or let them go talk to someone about how they can eliminate the need to look at porn compulsively from their lives. The worst thing you can do is to assume that when we talk about it, it will go away, because if it is a true penalty they will simply fall back to look at these things.